When Life Isn’t Fair

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Maybe you are like me and you have caught yourself saying “this isn’t fair” about a situation. You find yourself looking at the situations of others and wondering why they aren’t dealing with the same unfair circumstances. We all know those people who seem to have everything go in their favor (Could it be that it just appears this way?) Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, we tend to focus on what doesn’t seem fair rather than what is beyond fair in our lives. Maybe if we could view those things which appear unfair in a different light we would see that they aren’t unfair at all. When we are able to do this we also tend to recognize all the huge blessings in our lives as well. If you allow the Bible to be your guide, which I strive for, this isn’t so hard to do. Difficult at times, but not impossible.

As I thought about this whole idea of “unfairness” I thought about all of the stories in the Bible. Stories of God working impossibly amazing miracles. I found that all of these stories involve two things: A willing follower and seemingly unfair circumstances. Honestly I couldn’t really think of anybody who this wasn’t true for. At least not anybody in whose life God was working in great and mighty ways. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, are unfair circumstances worth the work that God wants to do in our lives? If you are a willing follower of Christ (only you know if you are) you can pretty much expect this to happen. Not forever, but for a time.

1 Peter 1:6-7 (NKJV) tells us “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,”
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Your genuine faith is worth more than gold! To me that’s an amazing fact to dwell on. God wants to use trials in our lives to bless us with unwavering genuine faith, the kind of faith that can move mountains. This doesn’t sound too unfair to me. Knowing this helps me to rejoice when things seem unfair and believe that God is working.

Think about Joseph (Genesis 37-45), could his life have been anymore unfair? He was hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, a servant of another man’s household, falsely accused, and imprisoned for years. The best part about the whole thing is that God was with him the entire time and the Bible says he prospered in all of those situations. If that’s possible for Joseph then don’t you think it’s possible for me and you? God had to test his faith and grow his character before he could be used in such an amazing way, to save the lives of countless people. Maybe this is the case for you? For me?

When my daughter was born with a heart condition I didn’t think that was very fair at all. She was tiny, wouldn’t grow, Unable to nurse, needed medication 3 times a day, had dr visits every week, was behind in all physical milestones, threw up every single day (a lot and often all over me!), and ended up having open heart surgery at 7 months old. My 2 month old weighed as much as her sister did at 7 months when she had surgery. None of this seemed fair but I can tell you that God truly did a work in me during this unfair time. He grew my faith and practically abolished my anxieties regarding health and illness. I look back and cannot believe the grace I received to get through all of that with a positive attitude and my faith intact. I am a different person today than I was before that happened. Think about unfair and tough times God brought you through. Are you the same person today that you were before? Maybe you say, well I’m worse. And that might be so, but choose now to face those trials differently than you might have before. Allow God to test and prove the genuineness of your faith and shape you into the person He created you to be. The person you need to be in order to live the life God has planned for you. Lean on Him through these “unfair” times and see how gracious and loving He truly is. I promise He won’t let you down!

Sometimes my husband and I talk about the ways that God has refined us through trials. We think about how we were versus how we are now. This encourages us to keep pushing through the “unfair” trials we are currently facing, reminding us that God is working. Always remember, God is more concerned with the genuineness of our faith than He is with “fairness”.

I’m not saying that at the end of your trial awaits riches and monetary wealth, what awaits us is far greater. A genuine faith that can move mountains and impact countless individuals for Christ. If this is what you want your life to represent keep moving through those trials and get ready for God to do great things in your life.

A final note, if the trials you face are consequences of sin in your life or an unwillingness to follow Christ and you want that to change, repent and allow God’s grace to transform you. It surely will!

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My Weakness, His Endless Grace

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I’ve begun to wonder if fear is my “thorn in the flesh”, similar to whatever Paul was dealing with. For some reason I am so weak when it comes to fear. I seriously cannot even watch a slightly scary movie without being unable to sleep for at least a week. And please, whatever you do, do not even tell me a story about something bad happening to a child! I won’t leave the house for a month.. I hate having to be home alone over night when my husband travels! I am a grown woman! I know it sounds silly, but it is truly a serious struggle for me. It comes out in other ways too but I’m not going to share all of my embarrassing examples with you! I have to be on constant guard. Whenever I think I’ve beaten it, back it comes as scary and overpowering as ever. I’m left feeling discouraged and beaten down, wondering if I will ever truly conquer it. Well if this is indeed my thorn in the flesh I probably won’t. Even though I know that Gods grace is sufficient sometimes I just wish it would be gone for good.

When Paul asked God to remove his weakness God response was not what Paul was looking for. Here is what God said, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) I can’t say that I have quite reached the place that Paul did, boasting in my weaknesses, but I would like to!

So how can I embrace God’s grace like Paul did and rejoice and boast in my weakness instead of desperately try, in my own strength, to eradicate it. Below are some things I’ve learned I have to do for this to be possible!

1. I have to accept it as something I will likely struggle with forever- Recognizing and accepting that I will always need to rely on Gods sufficient grace to overcome the fears and anxieties that grip me has been a freeing experience. Paul asked three times that God remove his “thorn” but God said no. Does this mean I have to live bound by my thorn? No. What it means is that I will forever need to tap into Gods grace, as Paul did, to battle it. Honestly I can go long periods of time where it seems as though I’ve won, and then out of nowhere, I begin to lose the battle. Thoughts start to creep in, feelings emerge, and discouragement starts to take hold. Maybe you can relate? Achieving acceptance helps me go straight to the throne of grace, rather than give into the thorn and allow it to gain control.
2. I have to offer grace to others- Listen, you probably think the fears I deal with are totally crazy! And you are right. I would probably think yours are crazy too. Don’t judge others because it doesn’t make sense to you, try to be understanding and offer encouragement. Allow God’s grace to flow through you to others, this may be exactly what they need in order to overcome! We want others to be sensitive regarding our fears and weaknesses but sometimes we don’t offer the same in return. I’m still working on this..
3. I have to face it, not hide from it- I used to just avoid fear at all costs. While sometimes this is okay and possible, other times it is straight up unhealthy. Rather than flee from it I had to learn how to face it with the strength of God and His grace. This is my only hope of experiencing His strength in my weakness. If you run from your weakness you will totally miss out on this blessing. Totally still working on this one too… but getting better!
4. I have to God FIRST, not last- Now that have I accepted that I will never truly eliminate my weakness of fear I am more prone to go straight to God whenever it starts to creep in. Where in the past I would try other things first, thinking I actually had a chance, now I know I need God immediately to stand a chance at all. This has brought me closer to the Lord and has enabled me to feel his love and care more deeply. I have found that His grace truly is sufficient for my weakness. If we don’t do this we will just go through life crippled by our weaknesses, unable to reach our full potential in Christ. The enemy knows our weaknesses and will work hard to use them against us. We have to rely on the only one who has already defeated him. Through Him we have true victory.

What is a weakness you just can’t seem to defeat? Ask God for His grace and strength to help you and you will not be disappointed!